Thursday, 6/11/09

Arrived in LA just after 9am. Made it to the hotel by mid-morning and waited for my roommate, Angel Leigh McCoy to arrive. She is a writer from Seattle and we hit it off from the get go. I had to laugh when we ordered the same lunch and both proceeded to pull the tomatoes off of our sandwiches when they arrived. We killed a couple of hours in downtown Burbank, did a little shopping, and had a nice cab ride to and from the hotel courtesy of George, our driver. We met up with Hal Bodner for a tour of the Hollywood Forever Cemetery. The grounds were beautiful. If only I could afford to be buried there.

Later that evening, I attended the signing at Dark Delicacies in Burbank. Thank goodness there was a large crowd gathered in the store. If there hadn't been, I surely would've maxed out my credit card. I managed to escape financial ruin, leaving with only (1) book, a shirt and a new skull hoodie.

The signing was followed by dinner and drinks with the Dark Scribe Press crowd. (Thanks, Vince!) Their anthology, Unspeakable Horror, won the Stoker for Superior Achievement in an Anthology.

Friday, 6/12/09

Highlights included panels featuring: Mick Garris, John Farris, Richard & RC Matheson. RC talked a bit about his band, SMASH CUT. I had the pleasure of hearing them play a couple of years ago in NY and was happy to hear that they have a CD out. I'm sure it will be in high rotation on my iPod soon.

Saturday, 6/13/09

More panels. Supported my friends at Dark Arts Books by manning their table in the dealer's room and talking up their latest release, MIGHTY UNCLEAN. This four author collection features great stories by Cody Goodfellow, Mort Castle, Gemma Files, and Gary A. Braunbeck.

The evening kicked off with Dark Scribe's pre-Stoker party featuring 80's hits and feather boas. Jeff Strand was the MC for the banquet, a job that he must never give up. I love his sense of humor. After the banquet, I was on hand at the HWA/WHC2010 post-Stoker party to answer questions about the Reading Cafe in Brighton and convinced a few more people to start saving up for the trip.

Sunday, 6/14/09

Hit the HWA meeting and Closing Ceremonies in the morning. And then it was time to head back home. The weekend came to an end too quickly. Had a great time with old friends, made a few new ones and can't wait to see everyone again soon.

Many thanks to John R. Little and Lisa Morton (and all the other volunteers) for putting on a great show.

I'll be attending the 2009 Bram Stoker Awards this weekend.

Here's my tentative schedule:

Thursday, June 11th - Signing books at Dark Delicacies in Burbank, CA from 7 to 9pm.

Saturday, June 13th - Dark Scribe Magazine Pre-Stoker Awards party from 5 to 7pm. Come get your feather boas here!

Saturday, June 13th - WHC2010 After Party. I'll be available to answer any questions you may have about the Reading Cafe in Brighton.

If you don't see me there, check the dealer's room. I may be spending some time at the Dark Arts Books table helping them sell copies of their latest release, MIGHTY UNCLEAN, featuring stories by Cody Goodfellow, Gemma Files, Gary Braunbeck and Mort Castle.

My Only Defense

He held my daughter’s hands
as she took her first steps.

I smiled,
remembering
how he smelled of baby powder,
his toothless grin,
the first time I held him.

Twenty odd years passed
overnight.

Where’s the little boy I used to tickle?
The kid on his skateboard?
The Marine I was so proud of?

Gone in a split second.

I keep asking myself
Why?
Why him?
Why now?
Even though knowing the answer wouldn’t change a thing.

Believing a greater good will come
is my only defense.

I mourn the loss
of the man he was
and the man
he had not yet become.

A husband.
A father.

Though I saw a glimpse of that man once...
the day he held my daughter’s hands.

I wrote this story last June in response to a challenge by John Skipp on Storytellers Unplugged.

The assignment was to write a death scene that was emotionally connected, not just blood and gore. It was a topic that I knew something about. Today is the anniversary of my dad's death. This piece would not have been written had I not had the experience of being there when he lost his battle with cancer.




No Cure For The Open Wound
by Martel Sardina


“So,” my daughter says to my nurse, “do you think he’s going to make it through the night?”

She thinks I can’t hear her, that the morphine has knocked me out. I can’t open my eyes anymore, but I’m still here.

I don’t care what these damn doctors say. I don’t have cancer. I’m not dying.

“If I were you,” my nurse says, “I’d say whatever I have to say before you leave. If you decide to leave.”

Great. Now the waterworks are on. I can hear her crying. Though I can’t understand why. Before the doctors told her I was sick, I hadn’t seen her in over a year. She had no problem saying goodbye to me then. I wonder what she finds so hard about it now.

“Okay, thanks,” my daughter says. She sits down in the chair beside my bed.

The nurse is fiddling with things. Must be adjusting the oxygen machine again. The air doesn’t seem to be coming as fast. Then she packs up her things. Her heels click-clack against the tile floor as she walks out of my room.

My daughter puts her hand on top of mine and squeezes it gently. Her hand is sweaty and I want to pull away but for some reason my arm feels heavy, too heavy to move. I’m expecting her to say something. Perhaps to make a pathetic attempt at an apology. But the room is quiet, save for the buzzing of the blood pressure cuff that turns on every fifteen minutes. When I could still talk, I told the nurse to take the damn thing off. Same with the oxygen sensor that’s on my index finger. If I’m really dying, why would they care about keeping track of such things? If I’m really dying, shouldn’t they just let me be?

“Dad,” she says. “I told them to shut the oxygen off. I can’t watch you suffer like this anymore.”

Suffer? This isn’t suffering. I’m not in pain. If she wasn’t so stupid, maybe she’d know that this is bliss compared to the way she hurt me.

I notice that the blood pressure cuff has gone slack. And that thing on my finger, it’s not there anymore either. I can still hear the beeping that indicates my heart’s still beating. It’s getting faster now. I’m having a hard time taking in air. I can feel my chest getting tighter with each labored breath. My heart’s pumping hard.

Click-clack. The nurse is back.

“Is this normal?”

“Yes. His breathing will become more erratic as things start shutting down.”

“What about his heart rate? It seems really high.”

“The heart is trying to compensate for what the lungs can’t do.”

Things are sort of going in and out now. I know they’re still talking but it sounds garbled, like someone talking on a cell phone from inside a bathroom stall.

And then it hits me…my daughter, my own flesh and blood just pulled the plug on me.

I’m angry now. She has no right to make that choice, to play God. I want to scream. I try to move but nothing is working the way that it should.

Goddamnit. I don’t want to die here. Not in this place. I wish she would have just left me at home. Let me die in my own goddamn bed.

I’m going to tell her that. If it’s the last thing I do.

I heave for breath, then open my eyes.

“Dad?”

I can’t remember what I wanted to say.

“Dad?”

I’m just going to rest my head on this pillow now.

She grabs me, hugs me. Her tears trickled down my cheeks. They’re warm.

I wish I’d told her that I loved her.

Just saw Bob Freeman's wonderful cover art for Death In Common Edited by Rich Ristow. I'm really proud to be a part of this project and can't wait for the anthology's release. More information on the release date coming soon.

Hi, all - Here's the latest news from the folks at WHC 2010...

REGISTER FOR READING CAFÉ AT WORLD HORROR CONVENTION 2010


Those confirmed Attending Members of World Horror Convention 2010 who are
interested in doing a Reading event can now register at the official website (under "Programming").

Having first introduced the popular Reading Café at the 2007 convention in
Toronto, Canada, we are delighted to announce that we will be reviving the
format in Brighton, once again hosted by Martel Sardina.

Designed to complement our regular Programming Schedule, the Reading Café
will promote individual readings, multi-author presentations, and
small-press book debuts. There will also be time in the schedule set aside
exclusively for poets to present their work.

Our goal is to capitalise upon the incredible breadth and scope of talent
that regularly attends World Horror Convention.

If you wish to read from your work, and you have already joined the
convention, then simply go to the website <www.whc2010.org> and click on
the link at the bottom of the appropriate page. Remember to include your
name, credits, contact information and any other details that you think may
be pertinent.

In the next couple of weeks we will start announcing our exciting line-up
of Guests of Honour.

Stay tuned!

I am happy to announce that I will be reprising my role as hostess of the Reading Cafe at WHC 2010 in Brighton. I had the pleasure of doing this at WHC 2007 in Toronto and again last year in Salt Lake City. More information on the Reading Cafe will be posted soon at the official WHC 2010 website. Also, membership rates are scheduled to go up on February 1st, 2009. If you want to take advantage of the early bird discount, get your registration in now.